Sunday, October 02, 2005

"And the walls came tumbling..."

I was doing so well today. I got up at 8 this morning and studied. This is after I was up way to late last night. I was alert. I was focused (mostly). I was on the ball! And the I came to work.

Mrs. Diller wasn't there. I sat in the hall waiting for her for 10 minutes. That's fine, I know that things can come up. It is dead here so far. One person called with a question and one person stopped by with the same question (the answer was no) and that was all. Jeremy stopped by to say hi on the way to the cafe and I got to talk with Mom and Melissa. I then decided to try to get work done.

I need, need, to work on the major case study. I have a patient and a group to work on it with. I have all the books and resources. I even have the time to work on it today. What I don't have is the patient's past medical history. The other students have that and neither of them are answering their phone. See, we have to understand the disease process for everything this guy has. It took me 10 hours to do the research for the mini care plan. I have six hours today and I can't do it!

And on top of everything else something happened that has me completely wigged out. I am so confused and bemused and I don't understand what is going on. It's probably nothing. I'm imagining it. My period hormones must be affecting my mental status. No, maybe it's chronic O2 deprivation and high CO2 levels from my cold, although *that's* getting better. Thank God!

I suppose it's just that, except for a few bright spots (like seeing Melissa) last week was the hardest and worst I've ever had for school. And that's not just college. In 15 years I've never had it's equal. I need a really, really big rock to hide under for 8 months.

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