Oopsy-daisy

Sometimes you go to change a diaper and you end up changing four. Or five. I lost count. Don't ask about the state of the floor.

The Wonders of Poo

I am, and have been for many years, well acquainted with poo in it's many forms. Sick poo and healthy poo. Geriatric poo and neonate poo and all ages in between (all though less well known is the adolescent poo age spectrum, I haven't had much experience with that poo-group). I am, you might recall, a nurse. Squeamishness is not allowed.

But my experience up until now has had a certain emotional distance; I had Fecal Episodes and Educational Experiences in Incontinence. There were no emotional overtones to whether or not the patient in room seven was really constipated or whether she was merely bowel obsessed. My previous run-ins with baby waste; Mother-Infant Nursing and the earlier introduction by my sister's young children; were more academic in nature.

That has now changed. First of all, in the last 3 weeks ( as of today if you wish specifics) I have probably seen more poop than in the 3 years of nursing. The quantity astonishes and amazes. Even more so when contrasted to the tiny size of this poo-making machine.

Second, it matters now. Meconium was expected and so wasn't too traumatic for me. But transitional poop was an unexpected trauma. Was it too late in changing? Did it take too long? Was it the jaundice or was he just developmentally delayed, even in his stools? Finally things seemed on track, as it were, and flowing normally.

Then the blow fell. Diarrhea. Or not. How do you tell? None of my previous experience could have helped here. Baby poop would be diarrhea had it come from an adult. But it doesn't so none of the normal indicators work here! Oh, help! What's a bear of little brain to do?

Thank the Lord above for grandparents. And sisters who work for pediatricians. Many phone calls and much internal obsessing later I have it figured out, I think. Consistency-slightly too watery and frequency-slightly too often. But only very slightly. Thus the decision is made. Dairy must go! I was lactose intolerant as an infant and that little gem seems to have carried through. Problem solved, mostly, 'cause I can't give up cheese. Nope, not happening.

In addition to the angst-filled response to poor Sprout's poo there is a certain awe in it's periodic poetry.

A few days ago I was up with the Sprout for his morning feeding when I heard the distinctive sound of a dirty diaper being made. Now I have found that the Sprout poops in threes so I was in no hurry to hop up and change him. I finished feeding him and heard a few more spurts happen. "Ah!" I said to myself "It's safe!"

I then undressed him and removed the item in question. As I did so the fountain which little boys are so famous for began. All is well though, as his quick-thinking mama pulled the mostly saturated diaper up over the offending part. Safe! Feeling more than a little smug I finished taking off the diaper and threw it away.

Just as I turned back from the diaper pail I saw a perfect fountain fall delicately in his ear followed by a yellow stream of baby poo arching gracefully out from the other end of him, over the end of the changing pad, and landing on the nearby wall. The contrast of the bright, primary colors was quite striking as the poo quickly ran down the nursery's blue wall, rushing to meet the carpet. I was able to save the carpet, just, from the waterfall of baby poo. Unfortunately in my amazement at young Sprout's artistry and irony I had neglected to notice the poo dribbling down the front of the changing table and so the carpet did not go unscathed.

The culprit at the scene of the crime

On Names

There was great discussions as to what the sprout would be named on arrival. At least The Geek partially listened to my long monologues on the subject. The first name was relatively easy, mostly because I don't have nearly as strong an opinion on boy's names as I do with girl's names. But the second name gave us some difficulty. Every thing that I really liked The Geek vetoed and vice versa. We finally settled on a name we both liked both on it's own and in conjunction with his Christian name.

My parents now tell us we choose poorly. His name clearly, they say, should be Harold. Why you ask? Well, look here...

And now look here.

Do you see what they see? It's really more noticeable when he's very, very relaxed and all splayed out into the same body position, but I'm not posting (or taking) any photos like that because I'm not quite that comfortable with breastfeeding!

I have informed my esteemed parents that the likeness will fade over time but the sprouts name will not and there is no way on earth I'm saddling any child of my with a name like Harold! Which, I'm sure, is a very fine name if it happens to be yours. Sorry?

And one more photo for the road, because I think he's cute.

Yeah, that's more then one, I know. But he's Cute! And that's all the justification I need.

RE: Hello

So given that I haven't posted anything for, um, *cough * *cough* 4 years I thought it might be best to start over again. Mostly this is for family but in case anyone else wanders on and sticks around for more than 5 seconds a brief introduction may be in order.

Hi! I'm Debbie, a nurse working in the admissions center of a local hospital, currently on Maternity leave for the first time due to the arrival of a small and voracious sprout. Techno-geek and I didn't figure out until shockingly late that it was the sprouts impending arrival was the cause of my extreme laziness and slightly twitchy stomach. This was embarrassing in the extreme as, you know, I am a nurse. Please don't judge. There were reasons this didn't occur to me. Good ones! Really! *sigh*

So the wee stomach has arrived and is, in fact, two weeks old today. I have been hearing with increasing regularity the chorus of "Send us pictures!" from our far

-flung family so I have dug my little point & shoot camera out of the closet. (The giant and intimidating manual camera is really not my thing, I'll leave the good quality pictures for The Geek [that title is given in love, btw and I mean geek in the 3rd definition. Most assuredly not the 1st, 'cause that's weird.]) Anyway, I though to myself, I though "Hmm, if I'm going to take the time to post pictures for people, maybe I should also post stories too. I should see if my blog is still sitting in the moldering corners of the internet!" So I did. And it was. And here we are today.

I leave you for now with this evidence of my son's cuteness and his father's weirdness. I had nothing to do with it, I just took the picture. Sprout doesn't look to thrilled either. His father was laughing uproariously.

Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!

I feel rabbit-eque. Last day in my management rotation. Don't have the time or energy to explain what that means. I get back at 4 and think to myself "one hour to sleep and then dinner and work." I got to sleep. I got very, very asleep! I think I can remember dreaming. By some miracle of God I actually woke up before I had to be at work, barely. I grabbed the school work I had to do and bolted. On my way over I tried calling people to see if anyone could bring food to me over at the nursing department.

This is very important as I have had to eat today...

1. 1 cup of hot chocolate
2. 2 pretzel sticks, size small
3. 4 different kinds of vegetables
4. 1 roll with butter
5. 1 diabetic pudding
6. and I found 4 granola bars in my bag when I got to work which will be eaten soon

That is hardly enough to sustain a person through a 17 hour day. So the people that I called? Three people didn't answer their phone and the other two were on their way to appointments that were.... just kind of... important. One was able to stop by the cafe but there wasn't anything that could be picked up in a hurry.

So I will eat my granola bars and once I'm out of work at 9 I'll go "home" and make myself a big steaming bowl of Raman!... Yay.

Reborn Again

The truth I knew I long forgot.
The awe and joy in You became
Routine. Tradition took the place
That once discovery held.
How did I fall from peaks and vale's
Onto unchanging plains?

The world's weight presses on each side;
My burden and my path both grow.
So I breath
Never feeling the sparkle in the air,
The wind caress my face,
Or Your Spirit by my side.

You made the blind to see
But the seeing lost their sight.
Make me deaf that I may hear
And blind that I may see.
For only those who see the dark
Will understand the light.

Teach me how to live
Looking beyond the ordinary view.
Teach me how to see
Your hand in all that breaths and moves.
Teach me how to trust
That every day's a gift for me from You.

peace in the storm

So I did go to the GODencounter at Winnekeag yesterday. I was ask by Elizabeth almost a month ago to be in charge of the prayer room. Well, what she called it was prayer cover, which seems a bit different to me. But that nitpicking.

I really didn't want to go because I have so much that I have to do for school. There's the videos for management , the practice NCLEX for seminar, and the 3 quizzes for Med/Surg on top of studying neuro and attempting to finally memorize the cranial nerves which I should have done 2 years ago in A&P.

I thought that this early in the year the workload and the stress level wouldn't be too bad. However I forgot something-this is nursing where there is no such thing as starting slowly. The first week you have class for 8 hours a day. That's not slow.

But I am really glad that I went. Not a lot of people came to the prayer chapel they had set up in one of the cabins so I spent several hours just praying and journaling and reading. I haven't had time, or rather made the opportunity, for me to do that in a really long time. I did get to go to the meeting as I was to man the chapel during the workshops. The speaker was really good and very, very funny but the highlight of the day for me was really the chance to stop doing and just to be.

All over again

So. School started. This is the second day of classes and I'm still alive. I understand what's being taught. I haven't even gone through what was previously the prerequisite first-day-of-nursing-class panic. When I heard what we are required to do I just thought "Oh, ok. I can do that. I've done it before." So I should be doing very well.

But it's already started again. I always forget about it and when I remember it becomes minimized, marginalized. I always seem to think that it will be better this time. I'm alone, separate. Everyone else seems to know each other, seems to see each other. They have classes together, they room together, they eat together and than I wander in—the intruder. I know it's all in my head, but that doesn't stop it.

With a very few exceptions every human contact that I have is superficial froth. Don't think I don't know that in every interaction there's some degree of froth, I do. But it hurts when it comes from people I thought I was closer to then that. When that happens every interaction that is meaningless hurts.

Don't mind me. Just feeling a little blue. Apparently no one outside of the nursing department has school work to do. I’m just alone tonight. Don’t worry. It should be better later.

g-aaack

That is supposed to be a sound of distress. It doesn't come across so well when typed as when said. Today I go back to college. Yes, I have now been the whole winter break with writing next to nothing. "Why?" you ask. Because, silly, I didn't want to! Nothing very fascinating happened anyway. I'm 22 now and have had no great revolutions to my character. I've traveled up to Bangor and reacquainted myself with an old friend (and, you know, with the person I was visiting....) I've seen relatives of various kinds, although all paternal. And I've done a lot of nothing.

Anyway...sound of distress. I packed all day yesterday. I hate packing. I always end up in heap of quivering humanity, weeping copious amounts of tears and "snut". Being a) a perfectionist, b) someone who is violently opposed to any change whatsoever, and c) someone who formerly has NO EXPERIENCE MOVING would very easily cause that to happen.

Now I just have to drive 2 1-2 hours and unpack the *^%$#@ thing! And at the dorm too, worst luck. No apartment for me yet. pooy

Silly Quiz

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Christmas Magic

I am sated with music and Christmas tonight. I just got back from a Christmas Wind Ensemble concert. Four members of my family played and, though I’m not biased at all, I think it went very well and if I heard a squawk or two from the clarinet section I would never mention it!

It took place in the Bowdoin College Chapel which is stunning. I remember it seeming huge when I was there as a child, and ancient. The pews are set sideways along the aisle so the patrons can see the grand processionals. Along the walls are darkly stained wood panels and above those are murals painted on the walls that are 20 feet or more in height that depict scenes from the Bible. It was all Very Impressive.

And yet for all that the first thought that I had when I walked in was surprise at how small the chapel was. It couldn’t have been more than 60 feet long. Partway through the program my imagination hijacked the rest of my mind and took me for a bit of a ride. I had been gazing at the painting in front of me for a while listening to the music when I happened to glance upward. Above the murals were painted geometric shapes that interweave amongst each other and above that was the roof. This wasn’t any roof, this roof was painted the perfect sky blue that Michel Angelo used for the Sistine Chapel. Over this canvas was sprinkled shining, golden stars. I think they were Star of David’s though I can’t quite recall. The supporting beams were carved and painted to match.

When I saw, truly saw, how tall this small chapel was something clicked, or snapped, in my mind and the perspective shifted. This wasn’t a forty or fifty foot tall solid stone building, this was a dolls-house size chapel that was waiting for the small girl it was crafted for to tear open the wrappings and lift the hinged roof to stare in awe at her new toy. I could see the roof tilt upwards and the shining eyes widen in surprise. I could hear the “Oh! Oh!” the exclamations of “Look at the darling little people! And the pretty walls! Oh! Real electric lights that work!” Brendan, who was conducting, became a mechanical puppet who moved along with the rest of his band when a key was turned. This Christmas toy rivaled both Drosselmeyer’s creation and Princess Margaret’s Dollhouse.

After blinking firmly once or twice I could see that the people around me were real and that the building wasn’t a dollhouse but a substantial, solid building that’s well over a hundred years old. But over the evening my vision kept slipping between realities.

Now I’m home with more Christmas music playing and the smell of fresh baked cookies wafting through the air and now I can believe that Christmas has come. I can also almost, almost believe that somewhere a little girl just opened the best present she has ever gotten.

Reflections

I'm home for Christmas now. I've actually been home since late Thursday night or early Friday morning depending on how you look at things. Emilie came with me. We're going to Sandy and Andrea's wedding today up around Waterville. Emilie was going to have to drive up this morning after getting back from the choir trip to DC at 5 in the morning. Not so much fun, eh? However she has laryngitis and is barred from singing for another week by her music teacher. So she came with me instead.

We just might get the apartment after all. We have to get permission from the college to move off campus, which is mildly ridicules. I'll be 22 by the time we move in and I'm responsible. I can guarantee that I'm much, much too staid to have parties lasting half the night or whatever else they’re worried about. It would just be Emilie and I if we actually can do this.

The one we’re thinking of is the smaller of the 2 apt that we viewed. It’s described as “one and a half bedrooms” and has an antique heating system that seems to work beautifully still. Sorry, no pictures. The family that’s there now is still moving out so there was a lot of stuff everywhere.

The semester is finally over. It’s done. I passed. I passed my first Med/Surg class with Ms. Pusey and I passed Mrs. Diller’s OB class in which she plays favorites and I passed Pharmacology even though I had no time to study for it. At the beginning of the semester the teachers told us that we would have to work hard but when we think about it afterwards we would see that it wasn’t difficult. I didn’t believe them then. I’m still trying to decide if I believe them now. I don’t think so.

This semester destroyed me; physically, emotionally, and spiritually too, though I’m ashamed to admit it. I don’t actually remember large portions of the semester. I know that I went through the last week of Med/Surg but I don’t remember doing it. I didn’t ever realize that until someone in second rotation ask me what to expect and I realized that I didn’t have a blessed clue. About half of OB is a complete blur to me. I remember impressions and feelings, but not actual events.

It’s a very odd feeling to realize that it’s only 7 days until Christmas. It feels to me like it should be at most November 18 instead of December 18. Looking back to summer confuses me because I feel like school has just started but also that it has been going on forever. Microbiology seems an age ago and last semester longer then a life time. It wasn’t though because it all just finished.

So to recapitulate, I have got a lot of knowledge in the past five months but very little wisdom. In addition, the knowledge I have has been leaking out of my brain because it’s reached full capacity and more stuff keeps coming. Some of what overflowed was my memory, because that’s “obviously” expendable.

Its okay folks, I’ve come to an end of my rambles. No more torture for you. For now that is. Just wait ‘til next year.

Busyness

Apartment-
The guy called back and we're seeing it tomorrow. It looks like we might actually be leaving the dorm. Please keep praying that it works out it this is the right thing/place. I'm starting to get panic-y about the whole on-my-own-responsible-adult thing. And that's with a lot of help from kind and loving parents.

School- yeah, still have 2 tests left. didn't get the pharmacology final done because it's postponed until Friday at 8 am. School officially ends on Thursday. The girls dorm starts charging you if your here after school is out. I'm going to talk with the dean.

Dorm-
On top of everything else that's going on in that area there's bedbugs now. Not on my hall, praise God! But that's still disgusting. I also should move out completely if I'm actually getting the apartment.


That's all, I think. Could be wrong, you never know. I'll keep you updated on the Amazing Adventures of the Stressed Out College Student! Oh joy.

Almost finished

I only have three more finals and the NLN left. I can focus on OB and Pharmacology now as I have finished with pediatrics. I don't feel quite so sinking. But time is still an issue.

In our...abundant...spare time Emilie and I have been apartment hunting. The dorm has gotten worse noise-wise and the cafeteria never has anything that Em can eat anymore. The problem is that everything in the area is very expensive. We are poor college students and can't afford to each spend $300-$400 a month, not counting utilities. We found a couple of less expensive apartments in the area and gave them a call. Now we're waiting for a reply. The question is, how long do you wait before you try calling again?

We've both been praying a lot that the right thing works out. At this point it seems to me as though it will take God's direct intervention to actually get out of the dorm this coming semester. There are just so many factors that would have to be just right and happen just at the right time. I wish we could have started intensely looking earlier in the semester (much earlier) but it really wasn't possible.

I finally got a hold of the right person to ask about the 40 community service hours we have to have before graduation. It turns out that there is an official form that has to be filled out with people's signatures and all. When I went and spoke with the women in charge of that department last spring she was quite brusque with me and didn't really give me any information or forms or anything. This time I spoke with a student worker who was very helpful.

To get credit for the 20+ hours I volunteered over the summer I need to fill out a form, get the supervisors signature on *that* form instead of the homemade one I whipped up, get my advisor's signature, and write a 3 page paper on what I learned or some such thing. I got an extra form for winter break, just in case.

Mmmm, must go study for the next exam. Home on Thursday! Yay!

hmmm, work...

I've been in the nursing department from 8 this morning and I will be here until 9 tonight, with only 2 half hour breaks, one for lunch and one for supper. The amazing think is that I've actually been studying/working the whole time. Well, almost the whole time. There was about 1/2 an hour.... weel...about five of us were "studying" just not *really*... But that hardly counts....

For those of you who want to know my exam schedule is as follows:
1) Pediatric exam on Friday
2) Pediatric final on Monday
3) pharmacology final on Tuesday
4) OB unit 4 exam on Tuesday
5) OB cumulative on Wednesday
6) NLN on Wednesday

The NLN doesn't count towards my grade, it's a national standardized test that we have to take.

Other people are here talking about what we/I need to study for on the Pedi test and I'm getting nervous. Byeya,
Debb

It's Finished!

Clinicals, that is, and in one week school will be too. I'm just starting to believe that this semester won't go on forever. I didn't quite believe it near the end. And when I did I wished that it wouldn't because I would have to go through the last week and a half of school. Now I'm in the middle of it and am blessedly numb.

I really have very little to say. Not much has been happening that is worth writing down. I just keep thinking that if I don't write for a while everyone will think I've curled up and died under a mountain of work. It's not like I actually get to talk to people, you know.

It's exactly 20 miles to the hospital I had clinicals at this semester. I've be going there at least 2 days a week for 3 months and I just realized that today, on the last day.

I think I'm getting sick. Emilie has laryngitis, which is great being a voice major and having her major Final be singing, and I think I got her bug. When I woke up this morning my throat was raw and my nose was stuffy. Oh joy.

Some of the Med/Surg students on my hall were up last night working on their Care Plan when I went to bed and were sill up when I left for clinicals at 5:30. The presentation was (is still?) today.

A thoughtful Pearl Harbor Day to you.
Debb

Mmmm, snow

I woke up this morning and it was snowing. I love snow. Well, I love it when it is snowing. I'm not so happy with the cleaning it up afterwards. But SO would rather have snow than rain. I've been playing Christmas music with the twinkle lights on in my room while I study so I feel very Christmas-y today.

I still have an incredible amount to do for school. I can't wait for the semester to be over. It would be nice to have the people from school without the huge workload or stress that goes with school. That, I know, isn't ever going to happen but it's a nice suppose.

Must get back to work now. Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Debb

Wow

God is way good. Mrs. Diller postponed when the care plan is due until Tuesday at 4. This is actually the second time that it's postponed. It was supposed to be done this Tueday. As in two days ago.

I'm also still awake from the caffine. I got about 3 or 3 1/2 hours of sleep and I'm really wide awake. This is very good as with 7-8 hours of sleep I always almost fall asleep when Mrs. Diller is teaching. That would be a bad thing. Today I am paying the most attention that I ever have in OB. I hope that it lasts longer through the day. I still have a lot to do but I just might have time to do it all and I just might have the energy, too.

And? On top of everything else? The dorm is having double credit worships next week and I might actually be able to get all the worship credits in that I need. That means that I a) wouldn't have to pay money and b) wouldn't get a letter of warning. Can't really explain the penal code of the dorms but that's bad. It stays on your record for the rest of your stay in the dorm.

So? Yay! Happy me. Still stressed, but hopeful now.

Yep, that time's right

It really is almost 3 in the morning. I'm working on my care plan for OB and have been for the past almost 6 hours, with a few breaks due to friends emergencies and sometimes just needing to Stop. Working. On the &@ $#%* thing! I can't think of how much I still have to do.

There is a reason why I don't normally drink caffeinated beverages. So when I have to do something like this it actually works. I had 1 1/2 cups of Dr. Pepper (soda fountain cups) and half a large Vanilla Chia from Dunken Donuts. That was around 10. It's just starting to wear off.

I hoped to be done around 4. I don't think I will be but I'm going to stop anyhow. I do have class in the morning, after all. I think I might be able to nap in the afternoon. I hope. I don't think I'll be able to do a lot with the Pharmacology project that I should have in some form of organization by 4 as that's when my group is meeting with the teacher to go over what we have so far. Me? Nothing, almost. Incidently, 4 is also when the care plan is due, so I do have between 10:30 and 4 to work on it. Well, except for the time my Pharm group is meeting to review so it appears that we did more than throw something together at the last minute. Don't know how long that will take.

I also realized that I have one week and one day until finals are over. That means that I'm dead. Six exams in as many days. Two of those days are over the weekend. Five of those exams are in the same class. One of those exams is over information we haven't covered since the week before school started. Yeah, I'm in trouble.

*sigh* Pray for me. I need it.

The folly of teachers

Sooo. Anyone remember the Pharmacology exam that I took home to do over the break?

The one with 150 problems that "will take about 5 hours for you to research"? The one I had two panic attacks about? The one that took me at least 1 1/2 hours to do 30 problems before I took a good, hard look at everything else I had to do and decided to chucked it out the window, proverbially speaking? The one other nursing students spent all weekend working on?

Well, it turns out that the teacher took a copy of the test home with her and tried her hand at it over break. In clinics today she asked 2 students if they did the exam. They said "Yes." She laughed. It turns out that the author of this particular torture "had problems" answering her own questions!

Fie! Fie, I say!